Self Development Collective

How I Learned To Work With The Inner Critic (Not Fight It) // Internal Family Systems

In this episode, I open up about my personal journey with the inner critic—how it held me back, and how I’ve slowly learned to work with it rather than against it using the powerful lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.
 
For years, I tried everything: affirmations, mindset shifts, journaling... but nothing helped silence that critical voice inside me. It wasn’t until I discovered IFS that I completely shifted my approach to working with the inner critic.
 
Together, we’ll explore:
What Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy says about the inner critic
Why trying to "silence" your inner critic often backfires
The connection between your inner critic and childhood experiences
A simple but powerful reframe that helped me soften my self-talk
Book recommendation: Freedom from the Inner Critic by Jay Earley & Bonnie Weiss
 
Whether your inner critic sounds like “You’re not good enough,” or keeps pushing you to “do more, be more,” this episode is here to remind you: you are not alone. And there is a gentle way forward.
 
Resources for this episode //
 
Freedom From Your Inner Critic - Bonnie Weiss & Jay Early
https://www.amazon.com.au/Freedom-Your-Inner-Critic-Self-Therapy/dp/1604079428
No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz
https://www.amazon.com.au/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1785045113
Internal Family Systems - Richard Schwartz
https://www.amazon.com.au/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Second/dp/B0D6NL2Y8C
 
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Season Finale: A Personal Development Reflection on Self Growth & What’s Next

This is the final episode of Season 1, and I just want to say—thank you so much for being here.
Your time, energy, and presence have meant the world to me. In this wrap-up episode, I reflect on everything we explored this season—from redefining goals and values to building daily vision, staying aligned in our habits, and reconnecting with ourselves in more meaningful ways.
I share what I’ve learned through showing up consistently (which I’m super proud of), and why this season has felt like a whole new way of doing self-development—one that honors where we are now, not just where we want to go.
We also dive into:
🌱 Why reflection matters just as much as action
💭 The transition into Season 2 and how the focus is shifting to deeper emotional work (relationships, grief, the inner critic)
🧠 My own healing journey with narcissistic relationships and upcoming episodes on cutting ties with a narcissistic parent
🎤 A new Q&A segment launching next season—where YOU can ask anonymous questions about personal growth, relationships, or anything in between - Ask here
This is your reminder to celebrate your growth too. Whether you listened to one episode or all of them, I’m proud of you—and I hope you’re proud of yourself.
✨ Take a moment to rest, reflect, and acknowledge how far you’ve come.
Timestamps00:00 – A heartfelt thank you01:00 – Reflections on showing up & growth02:00 – What this season taught me03:00 – Season 2 preview: grief, relationships, and the inner critic04:15 – Launching the anonymous Q&A segment05:00 – Why I’m taking a short break + what’s next
 
 
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Letting Go of a Friendship // When Friendship Changes with Time

I think one of the most confusing and painful parts of growing up is how friendships change—especially when there’s no big argument, just distance… or silence.
In this episode, I sat down with my long-time friend Dimitri to talk honestly about what it’s like when friendships shift. We’ve been friends for over 25 years, and our dynamic has definitely ebbed and flowed, but somehow, we’ve always found our way back to that same, easy connection. Still, we’ve both had experiences where friendships just faded—or ended without any real explanation—and it can leave you questioning everything.
We talked about:
The difference between friendships that evolve vs. ones that slowly drift
What it feels like when you bump into someone who used to be a “birthday dinner” person and now won’t even say hi
That weird space where you’re not angry… but still hurt
How relationships, timelines, life stages, and even effort (or lack of it) change friendships
And yes… that sting when someone makes more effort with other people, but not you
I also opened up about how my past relationship impacted my friendships in ways I didn’t even realise at the time. And Dimitri shared a story of reconnecting with a friend after 8 years apart—which gave me hope that sometimes, the door isn’t always fully closed.
This one is personal, a little messy, and super honest. If you’ve ever had a friendship fade without really knowing why—or if you’re navigating that weird grief that comes with growing apart—I hope this episode makes you feel seen.
 
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Choosing Ourselves In Our Choices // Making Decisions That Are Less Accepted But More Authentic

Choosing Ourselves In Our Choices // Making Decisions That Are Less Accepted But More Authentic
 
In this episode, I'm joined by Dimitri Kyvetos, one of my longest and closest friends of over 25 years, to discuss how we can make choices that truly reflect who we are.
 
We explore:
- The courage needed when choosing ourselves over cultural and family expectations
- How our similar Greek and Italian backgrounds created pressure to follow "acceptable" paths
- Why choosing ourselves builds inner confidence even when it feels uncomfortable
- The fascinating truth that we regret the things we don't do more than the things we actually do Dimitri shares his journey of choosing himself by making significant career changes, including his decision to work for himself.
 
We also discuss his thoughts on traveling to Greece solo - a personal choice he's been contemplating but hasn't yet committed to. I open up about my own regret of not choosing myself when I wanted to study overseas in Italy. That decision still bothers me tI did travel to Italy, but never did it the way I really wanted to.
 
This conversation is perfect for anyone struggling between choosing themselves versus making choices others approve of. When we prioritize what truly resonates with us rather than what's well-regarded by others, we often discover new paths to growth.
 
What decisions have been calling you that involve choosing yourself? Remember that the choices constantly nudging us are often the ones we need to make, even if we don't fully understand why yet.
 
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Visualizing Our Future Self // Crafting a Daily Vision Vs Long Term Vision for Lasting Change

Visualizing Our Future Self: Daily Vision for Sustainable Growth
The Power of Daily Vision vs. Long-Term Vision
In this episode of the Self Development Collective, I explore why visualizing our future self through creating a daily vision works better than focusing solely on long-term goals.
From Long-Term Vision to Yearly Vision
I share my personal journey of discovering how a 5-10 year vision, while inspiring, can sometimes feel overwhelming and demotivating due to the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. Instead, I've found that creating a more accessible yearly vision provides a realistic stepping stone that maintains our connection to our long-term dreams.
Implementing Your Daily Vision in Real Life
This approach has completely shifted how I approach my days and weeks:
Consider your current life stage (for me, parenting two under five)
Identify what's achievable now versus what needs gradual work
Implement some parts of your vision immediately
Work steadily toward other aspects
The yearly vision serves as that middle ground—close enough to feel achievable but still moving us toward our bigger dreams. By visualizing our future self just one year ahead, we focus on the next step rather than feeling discouraged by the distance to our destination.
Visualizing Our Future Self with Flexibility
Sometimes it's not about waiting until we can do something perfectly, but adjusting how we do it now:
Journal once a week instead of daily
Connect with friends monthly rather than weekly
Maintain consistency with what's possible in your current season
This episode completes our series on habits and values, offering a practical way to visualize our future self through both daily and yearly visions.
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How to Make a Habit That Actually Sticks // Habits & Weekly Routines

How to Make a Habit That Actually Sticks: The Weekly Approach to Consistency
Feeling the pressure to maintain perfect daily habits? In this episode, I reveal why the "never skip a day" mentality might actually be sabotaging your consistency.
Drawing from personal experience, I share three practical strategies that transformed my approach to habit-building, making habits more enjoyable and sustainable.
Discover how thinking weekly instead of daily, connecting habits to core values, and embracing flexibility can help you maintain consistency without the guilt.
Whether you're struggling with how to make a habit stick or looking to create a weekly routine that honors your natural rhythm, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on consistent habit-building that works in real life.
Why Traditional Approaches to Making Habits Can Be A Struggle
Through my experience as both a content creator and parent, I've discovered that the hustle culture mentality of never skipping habits creates unnecessary pressure. I explain how shifting from a daily to a weekly mindset transformed my relationship with habits, making them more enjoyable and sustainable long-term.
3 Powerful Strategies for How to Make a Habit Consistent
I outline three game-changing approaches that have helped me maintain consistency with my habits: • Connecting habits deeply to your values gives you a meaningful "why" behind each action • Thinking weekly instead of daily removes the pressure of perfection • Recognizing there are multiple ways to live out your values provides needed flexibility.
How to Create a Weekly Routine That Fits Your Life
Using my podcasting journey as an example, I demonstrate how understanding my core value of connection allowed me to:
• Shift from an unsustainable twice-weekly schedule to a more aligned bi-weekly approach
• Implement seasons in my content creation for better work-life balance
• Enhance both my content quality and personal connections
The Secret to Making Habits That Last: Flexibility Over Perfection
Discover how consistency doesn't have to mean doing the same thing every day by:
• Setting flexible weekly goals that respect your natural rhythm
• Choosing different ways to fulfill the same value on different days
• Removing the guilt from days when habits don't happen as planned
 
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#HowToMakeAHabit #WeeklyRoutine #ConsistentHabits #PersonalGrowth #SelfDevelopment

How To Set Goals & Habits That Motivate You // Personal Goal Setting & Examples of Life Goals

How to Set Goals and Habits That Actually Motivate You: A Simple Framework
Want to learn how to set goals and habits that genuinely excite you? In this episode, I share my personal framework for setting goals and habits that connect deeply with your values, making them naturally motivating rather than another item on your should-do list.
Why Traditional Ways to Set Goals and Habits Often Feel Challenging
Through my podcasting experience, I reveal why traditional SMART goals and rigid habits weren't enough. Learn how I transformed my approach to setting goals and habits by connecting them to core values, shifting from external pressure to internal motivation.
Essential Steps to Set Goals and Habits That Stick
I share a three-step process to set goals and habits aligned with your values. Discover how understanding the crucial "just because" factor in habit formation can transform your approach. Learn practical methods for setting habits across personal life, work, and relationships, plus how to convert your goals into specific, actionable habits that last.
Real-Life Examples of Setting Meaningful Goals and Habits
Using my journey as an example, I demonstrate how setting habits based on my value of connection transformed everything from my content creation to family time. Learn how I shifted from setting overwhelming goals to creating aligned, achievable habits that feel natural and sustainable.
How to Set Goals and Habits That Feel Authentic
Discover how this framework helps you set habits that honor your natural rhythm while maintaining consistency. Perfect for anyone looking to move beyond traditional goal setting to create deeply motivating, value-aligned habits. Join me to learn how setting goals and habits with purpose can transform your approach to personal development.
 
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#PersonalDevelopment #GoalSetting #Habits #PersonalGrowth #LifeGoals

Q&A: Setting Emotional Boundaries & Feeling Guilt

In this episode, I address a powerful Q&A from a listener about navigating emotional boundaries, particularly with a narcissistic presence. 🛡️✨
 
Join me as I share practical steps and draw from my journey, offering strategies to start setting emotional boundaries and working with the weight of guilt.
 
🚀 Key Insights:
Why emotional boundaries can be tricky
Two ways we can work with the feelings of guilt that come with setting emotional boundaries
Simple steps that we can journal
 
This discussion is not just about setting boundaries, feeling empowered to navigate emotional boundaries, and getting to know our guilt. ❤️
 
❤️ Have a Q you'd like A? Share your question here 👇
https://forms.gle/41exzfEMEBA2TvmR7
 
Related Episodes:
 
❤️ Boundaries With A Narcissistic Parenthttps://selfdevelopmentcollective.podbean.com/e/boundaries-with-a-narcissistic-parent-setting-boundaries-with-toxic-parents-advice/
 
Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth.
Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges.
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Feeling overwhelmed by goals and goal setting? One idea that can change that!

Hey guys! In this episode of The Self Development Collective, I'm diving into something I haven't talked about in ages - goal setting. But here's the thing: I'm approaching it totally differently than I used to.
I've been watching heaps of YouTube content lately (you know I've been loving Molly Mae!), and with the start of the year, there's been so much stuff about productivity and goal setting. And it got me thinking - why have I been avoiding setting proper goals for so long?
This episode came from a really honest place of reflection. You know those moments when you look back at old journals and realize how much has changed? That's exactly what sparked this conversation. I dive deep into my journey with goal setting - from being someone who had pages and pages of goals and productivity systems, to completely avoiding them, to finally finding a way that actually works for me.
In this episode, I open up about my own experiences and share some really personal stories that completely transformed how I think about creating the life we want. I explore why traditional goal-setting methods weren't working for me, and share a powerful realization about vision boards that might surprise you.
This episode is perfect for you if:
You've ever felt overwhelmed by traditional goal setting
You're tired of chasing goals that don't feel meaningful
You want to approach your dreams in a way that actually feels good
You're looking for a more authentic way to create the life you want
You're ready to think about goal setting in a completely different way
This is actually part one of a series where I'll be breaking down a completely different approach to goal setting - one that's changed everything for me. I share some really vulnerable moments and practical insights that I hope will help shift your perspective too.
I can't wait to hear what resonates with you from this episode. Drop a comment or shoot me an email to let me know your thoughts!
#GoalSetting #PersonalDevelopment #RealTalk #AuthenticLiving #SelfDevelopment #MeaningfulGoals
 
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Growth vs. Change: Embracing Personal Growth in the New Year

Growth vs. Change: Embracing Personal Growth in the New Year
Episode Description: A Journey of Personal Growth
🎧 Hey guys! I'm so excited to share this transformative episode with you. After having my baby (he's two months old now!), I've been doing a lot of reflection on how we approach growth and development, and I want to share something that's completely shifted my perspective.
The Power of Personal Growth Over Change
You know how at the end of every year, we talk about all the things we want to change about ourselves? Through my deep dive into psychotherapy and personal growth work, I've discovered something game-changing about how we approach our inner journey. What if instead of forcing change, we embraced understanding through curiosity?
Key Insights for Transformation
In this episode about authentic development, I share openly about:* Why fighting against parts of ourselves blocks genuine growth and leads to disconnection* How my relationship with anger transformed into a powerful catalyst for understanding* The breakthrough moment in my journey when I stopped trying to change and started getting curious* Why understanding our emotions is crucial for sustainable transformation* Practical strategies for embracing all parts of ourselves in our development journey
Real Talk About Personal Growth
I get really honest about my experiences - like being labeled "the angry one" and how that impacted my path to understanding myself. Through exploring Internal Family Systems (IFS) and psychotherapy (I'm obsessed with Martha Sweezy's work!), I've discovered that real personal growth happens when we get curious about what our emotions are trying to tell us.
A Fresh Perspective on Personal Growth
This episode is perfect if you're feeling stuck in your journey or tired of traditional self-help advice. I share raw, authentic experiences about how shifting from "how can I change?" to "how can I grow?" has transformed my approach to development and understanding.
Embracing Your Whole Self
And as I always say - take what resonates, leave what doesn't. But I'm really curious to see how this new perspective might transform the way you work with all parts of yourself. Join me in this honest conversation about growth, where we explore how understanding ourselves, rather than trying to change ourselves, might be the key to authentic transformation.
Stay Connected
Follow along with my content:* New episodes every two weeks* Deep dives into psychological concepts made accessible* Real-life applications for your journey of growth
Links Mentioned
The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lernerhttps://www.amazon.com.au/Dance-Anger-Changing-Patterns-Relationships/dp/0062319043
Internal Family Systems Therapy for Shame and Guilt by Martha Sweezyhttps://amzn.asia/d/5qmcKlh
#PersonalGrowth #AuthenticGrowth #SelfDevelopment #IFSTherapy #EmotionalGrowth #SelfDiscovery #MentalHealth #PersonalTransformation #GrowthMindset #EmotionalIntelligence
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